Sleepless nights

So It was about two am this morning that I woke up and couldn't go back to sleep. My mind woke up and thats that. My mind really does have a mind of its own. It likes to think about things that I don't like to think about. It especially likes to keep me at bay, up at night, and uncomfortable with myself. Its my anxiety at it again. Not sure why it likes to target my phobia but it does and it does a fantastic job at it. What sucks too is that because I am constantly waking up at night its like I am in a constant dream. And ya know, maybe I wouldn't complain if I actually have good dreams, peaceful dreams, dreams of sense and control, dreams of safety and security, dreams of good health...but that isn't the case. They are more like a constant night mare. Okay maybe not that far stretched but yes, they are definetly most often unpleasant dreams.

Since when have I become this negative person? Well negative thinker? Because obviously if I were a positive thinker than this wouldn't be a problem in my life right now. Why have I developed this , I don't have a clue. But I sure am leaning on faith that I'll get through this "Mind Game" once and for all! The mind is such a powerful thing, such a complex creation, the artwork of Heavenly Father, and till this day scientists still can't understand ALL the brain and all its capacity's. Amazing, really. So here I am...giving in...gettin outta bed so that I can distract myself in to sleeping again. But even then I still don't look forward to it. I sure do miss my sleeping days, the days I would enjoy lying down in my bed to fall asleep, the days where sleeping was my bliss...now its just another thing i have to do. A chore so to speak. Well, its off to the war zone again...the constant fight with my brain that everything is okay, go back to sleep. Good night, or should I say, Morning.