A Good Time

The spot to eat:

The peeps to eat with: "mmmmm...sweet potato fries" she says

The food to eat: "yeah, duh duh definetalty mmmmm..."

Plus us:

Plus the retro Restroom sign:

And...the caged dolls

Equals:

Priceless times :0)

oh and lets not forget the "cool joint" Barnes and Noble shelf shopping and first time Gelato. my favorite was the chocolate hazlenut. Squisito!(delicious)

Yearnings...Goals...

Being that I am the sixth child, the baby, and six years apart from my closest sibling...I have always felt...uh I dunno...left out. Left behind. Out of the Loop. "last ones a rotten egg!" Yeah, I've felt like the rotten egg. Not always but yes, that feelings been harvesting there for some time. And its never been so promenate...so potent until I got married. Then it just got worse. I no longer leaned on my Mom or/and Dad anymore but just One person, My husband. Yes its fact that once you get married you've started your own family now. But in way I felt like instead of something great...i've just downsized. I know that sounds awful..but Im getting to my point here in a bit. I love Sean, he is the one for me, my rock, my everything. After marriage I came to a 4 way stop at one point and realized I've still got so much further to go. I felt like at the time "now that Im married I'll get to be with the "in crowd"," that is with my family. But the real truth is Im still behind. I didn't have kids, or a house, I wasn't a mother, etc. I just completed level One. Funny how we think something will be so great and we'll be ahead...and then once we got there we realize we've still got so much further to go...so much more to learn. Just like the concept of temple marriage. My whole life I saved myself, everything I was taught I held dearly and strive so hard to make it to the finish line...to stay worthy and find my husband so that we can be sealed together for time and all eternity. I fought and fought and I did it, great! But wait, this is just the beginning. Its true, when something ends it's really just the beginning. (my first yr of marriage= Here's me and here are all my siblings, we are all married now, I did it! Im in the Loop! (((Buzzer, wrong!))) Im just at the level they've finished years ago. Disappointment sets in, sorrow, hurt, feelings of never being good enough. Sure, being the baby has all its perks right? Well Im here to tell ya, it Don't! (yeah, thats right, awful grammar) You ever heard of the phrase "trying to keep up with the Jones'"? (seems like i've heard it so much this year) Thats what, I-the baby, have always felt like. Im just trying to keep up with my siblings..(((picture a girl on her knees begging when I say this))) Talk to ME, ask Me about my shopping spree, ask ME about my recent dinner dish, ask ME about my feelings on this/that, Why Yes I've heard about the new such 'n such, ouuu did you hear about so 'n so. From ever since I could remember its always been that way, left behind. So further into my marriage and with amany great conversations with my spouse I decided I wasn't going to wallow up into self pity and boo-hoo about it. Just accept it for what it is...Im just the baby and Im too far behind to ever fit in with "the crowd". But then I realized that didn't work either...I just ended up hurting myself and sean ended up hearing more sob stories and drying my tears with his comfort. I still ever longed for a close relationship with my siblings...I so longed to be apart of them instead of just being with them. When Emmery was born it helped alot...i got alot of attention from everybody...not just family but friends and co-workers and acquaintances. I thought being pregnant was just awesome! I loved the attention Im truthful about that. To receive so much love, care, and concern along with excitement was so fulfilling. But then the months pasted and the winds died down. Responsibility set in along with my situation. I was a new mother and a new wife...my pre-marriage cares dissipated, or at least hid in the closet for the time being. Another department of my life filled in that void enough to not consume me with my previous feelings. Then came February of 2008. The month I decided to join the blogging community. I saw it not only as a great documenting/journal my Life experience but as well as a communion experience. It opened a door. I felt more in tune with the "clique" of the family. Now don't get me wrong here but it just wasn't enough. Believe me I am grateful for it but I still evermore enjoyed face-to-face than anything else. I wanted to feel that bond ya know? So heres where my my title comes into play. I had been yearning to long to be apart of my family and now my situation made that tangible. ( I could talk about the same things they were talking about because I could Relate and Understand. ) So I turned that yearning into a goal. I don't know if its considered a goal but I will try my best to spend more one-on-one time with my siblings. And I knew it could be done...and I had hope. Because while I was pregnant with Emmery so was my Eldest sister pregnant(but w/ her 5th). I found comfort and compatibility while talking to her and being with her. so thats where my hope sparked from...i finally felt like this goal was do-able. And to my Georgian sister, I miss you terribly. I think about you and can't wait for the day of your return back home...at least thats what I hope for. I would love to spend more time with you. I've always enjoyed your sweet opened-armed-ness towards me while I was in my collage/dating years. In fact, I can still recall the day I told you guys I felt so strong for Sean and that I would marry him. That was a special day for me with you guys, that means you too Chris. Someday I hope to spend more time with you guys. I am trying slowly but surely to get to know my older siblings, to DO things with them. And with my continuance...well here was my Saturday night...and I loved every minute of it! Thank you! With love, ashley (see post)

Long Line, Many Hours

Not for me anyways. Thank goodness I know the guy when I have him sign it(my book) later at the house. All those ages both great and small...standing in line with their Letter of the Alphabet...A's....B's....C's...D's your up next. Heads up: If you don't know how a book signing goes...upon arrival you recieve a sticker with a letter on it...when your group letter gets called you go wait in line.

Its been our 3rd time, I believe, at attending Brandon's Book signings at Barnes & Noble. Every time Emmery is at a new stage in life....this time it was the "I'm too impatient to sit here in a stroller" stage. Whatever happened to my mellow child...used to be so chill, so observant. Now its GO! Go! Go! Run!..Run...Run! Well none the less we enjoyed our 15 minute stay at the signing before the whining and the crying started to happen. So off we went. Daddy couldn't come, he had a baseball game. Its just not the same without him.

Also, No offence but I felt like a mother who had her child out of wedlock. And you can't get me wrong... I mean look at me...I look like Im 19 with a 2 yr old. Ppl with those looks on their faces don't seem to notice the ring on my finger. But then perhaps its because it's not my real ring. So I replaced it with another...its more simple and thinner...thats b/c i don't want it one-upping my true engagement ring.

Any one hear of Briolite? I guess its supposed to be more supeiror to a diamond just because its brilliancy is better from that of machines cutting the material...not hand cut. Its not diamond of course...but its flawless and very brilliant. (picture dont do it justice) Its pretty but satisfing for now till I can get My Beauty back.

Anywho, where was I? Oh yes, so we took off from the bookstore to do some last minute shopping b4 the clock struck Bedtime hour.

Anybody notice how windy it was yesterday? Cadfree!!! It was blowing cats and dogs!(ok, not literately but seriously though)

.

(((see this poor little tree bending?)))

So we arrived at Walmart. I open the passenger door to get Emm out and guess what happens? The door get pushed and my shin gets slammed between the door and the car. OUCH!!! I was biting my cheek trying not to scream out in pain and at the person who hit my door. I turn around of course no one was there...its just the gust of WIND slamming the car door on my shin!!

(((ok seriously, pictures DO NOT do justice)))

Gosh awful pain started to swell up into a pretty little wealt on my shin. Poor Emmery was a little shaken by my crying out in pain and panting. She couldn't figure out why I couldn't get her out of the car. So I took a few breathers and jammed the door open to get her out. Then out of frustration I totally slammed my door shut. Some couple kinda looked at me odd...but I didn't care. So I limped all through out the store...it wasn't fun.

(((Im really not that scary blue lookin' color))) (((SEE!)))No joke, I took this picture afterwards to prove that to myself)

Wow, what a Post eh? So many sidetracks...well I guess not really because it all occured yesterday. Anywho, Happy Day today! Friday!!!

Forward we Pay

I remembered my friend Jen did this on her blog...so I shall try it too!. Here are the rules to Pay It Forward! 1. Be one of the first THREE bloggers to leave a comment on this post, which then entitles you to a handmade item from me.

2. Winners must post this challenge on their own blog, meaning that you will pay it forward, creating a handmade gift -anything!- for the first THREE bloggers who leave a comment on YOUR post about this giveaway!

3. The gift that you send to your 3 friends can be from any price range and you have 365 days to make/ship your item. This means you should be willing to maintain your blog at least until you receive your gift and have shipped your gifts. And, remember it’s the spirit and the thought that count!

4. When you receive your gift, blog about it! If you are not one of the first three to comment on this post, you can still play along. Go ahead and start your own Pay It Forward chain, and encourage your blogging friends to do the same! It's all about paying it forward. Are you in?

Things I found at the Park

Well Hello there "A"

Fancy meeting you here

Some Suspicious "S" River Rock or Prehistoric fossilized bird egg

Hmmm...I think fossil egg sounds more interesting. Uh-oh! I smell trouble...snff...sniff

Hey! You are eating my prop!

Geez, dig in why don't cha! :0)

Thanks Emmery...

...its just not as appealing(a half devoured prop) but hey at least mid day snack is outta the way!

Inside "the hopeful"

Remember this house, I call it "the hopeful" b/c its a house I would truly love.

Well today we finally got to see the inside of the house of "the hopeful" and heres what I could capture:

(((front entrance w/ wood paneling))) It makes me gurgle like Homer Simpson does w/ Doughnuts

(((Here is the Family Room...again Gurgle over that fireplace!!)))

and mantle!

(((not gurgling yet?...oh ho...check this out)))

(((Chaw, that would be the ceiling folks...hmmmm...cozy Frontier -wood-cottage feeling)))

(((...gurgel...gurgle...gurgle...)))

(((ok, so never mind the "neon yellow" thats sportin' we'd fix that in a jiffy. In fact, the whole kitchen needs fixin'))) except that tile flooring...i'll keep that :)

(((Dining))) gotta love that backyard view while chopping down on my home made Lasagna and bread sticks,,,,oh I can imagine alright!)))

(((Hallway, bathroom to your right)))

(((not gurgling yet?...try this bathroom sinks display...behold feast your eyes)) Bonus!!!)

(((Hallway: entry into bedrooms, oh yeah, and thats my hottie)))

(((cute little girls room no doubt...golly I love those windows)))

(((MB, nice and cozy and I think I might keep it that color)))

(((Master bath,sorta, and closet to the right)))(((I couldn't get the whole bathroom, but I do like the personal sink and again wall paneling, gurgle)))

I hope you are well fed from this delicious display of "the hopeful"...and don't you dare try to take it from me...

I will hunt you down like a dog! Oh yes, be very afraid. ;0)

Picture of the Day

I just had to post this! This is the coolest picture I've seen in a while!

I miss my trampoline :o(

Photo taken by: kate lines photography

Word Week

WhoOops! I forgot last week's. Well here is this weeks. I found it to be very...fitting. :::Construe::: kon * stroo --Verb : interpret something in particular way: to interpret or understand the meaning of a word, gesture, or action in a particular way.

ex. "His silence could be construed as an admission of guilt." To everything there is an opposite...night-day, good-bad, strong-weak. __Misconstrue__

...i love this word for this week...its so worthy and professional in a way. I am reminded of the sad topic of "gossip". I admit I haven't been perfect and can recall times that I've gossiped. For some time now I have been making a conscious effort to refrain from "spending" information of others. And To also look at the big picture, step back, and to see the other side of the fence. I (try to) do this all the time with my second family. Sean and I talk about the current what-not's and I feel a little bit better about how I've guided my thoughts and mind. Im not narrowing to "deep" subjects but just all around subjects and how I conduct my thinking. I mention this because I've found that through this "anxiety" process I continue to fight daily, its opened my eyes, enlighten me about ME and Who I Am or what I Am Becoming. Its opened my eyes about how I process situations, anything. And I think(sometimes) that this anxiety has been a blessing in my life. Another life's lesson. Take charge of yourself Ashley. To Act and not Re-act. I think its made me realize it all boils down to control. Who's in control here?

Satan or me?

*just an example: "Ugh, how dare Sister so-in-so look at me that way! Who does she think she is?" Who is in control here?...Satan or me? Am I going to allow myself to fester over and over about some stupid look that could have been meant but really what if it wasn't meant. What if I MISCONSTRUED it to be something its really NOT? What if i let it FESTER into something that(if you look at the bigger picture here), is not a big Deal? We are all here for a Purpose. Does this situation help me get to where I want to be OR does it keep me farther from my destination? Do I let if Fester or do I let it roll off my shoulders? Two sentences for me to recall in times of need. (and you can use them if you like) 1. Who is in Control here? 2. What is the Bigger picture?

From the words of Forrest Gump: "thats all I have to say about that."

Sunday's Best and Chocolate

"Who taught you how to pose?"

Batter up!(more like up the nose)

my first chiccy chocolate.

...continuing the tradition.

"The Classic"

Ma & baby

the end

Heat, Pressure, and Water

Heat, pressure, and water are the elements(when combined) that can crack huge rocks in two pieces. Is this concept the same for metal only combined with Love's hardwork meaning: dishwashing, diaper-changing, tub-scrubbing, dinner-making, hand-holding fingers???

~OR~

Is it just poor workmanship for when we had my ring sized down as a newlywed?

(in case yr wondering, there is a complete crack through my band at the bottom)

Im not sure, but all I know is I am sad to put my ring away. At least, it'll stay safe and cozy inside my box until we can fix you all up...nice and shiny...I promise.

But I can't leave my finger empty, that would just be weird.

Did U know I have a monkey?

Oh boy, I see those curious eye all day long.

(yes, thats my floss) Not only is this monkey curious...but also smart.

(and thats her lotion)

I know what you're thinking and...OF Course NOT! What kind of mother do you think I am? ha ha(as in of course not i don't let her eat that)

And what does every monkey like to do?

..hang all over you.