Crush Crush Crush

I've been dreaming about Edward. Yes the fictional, stephenie Meyer created, hot, suave, deep and sexy vampire...IIIIIIIII could go on. Okay maybe not so much 'my' imagination's edward but yes Robert's Edward.

Call me a freak!

Whats the dealio? I have no idea...but I find myself thinking about my dream all the day long. Today was the third dream I've had in 7 days. The first two were about how jealous I was how he fell for brunettes and not a hot "blond" like me.(oh yeah, were still in my dream)

In particular he was falling for a brunette friend of mine, Melissa. Sorry Mel if you read this post, I have nothing against you nor do I understand why you were present in my dream...but just feel good about yourself that you were Bella and Edward picked you over me. :0)

In my dream it was such an awful humble feeling to be denied by "Edward, the hot sexy off-limits vampire". I remember having gut dropping feelings from questions like: "whats wrong with Me? - Did I give a bad impression? - how could he not find me attractive? - Am I to easy?( as in opposite of playing hard to get) Too Practical, basic, ordinary.

Ugh, I was so upset and hurt when I had those dreams. It seems to me, I am currently in phase where I wake up and it takes me a few HOURS to come back to reality and to separate myself from the feelings I had in my dreams. Where as an average person wakes up and goes "Geez, what a dream" and gets outta bed like nothing ever happened. Because thats exactly the case!!! Nothing happened! But oh no, not me, I have to carry it with me all day through while sweeping my floors and brushing my teeth and feeding the little misses. I must be going insane here people! ( I say ppl b/c i like to think ppl read my blog, makes me feel cool)

Every morning, it seems like, I would have Misery Business being sung in my head...over and over.

Oh but then the best thing happened last night. I finally!, FINALLY!, caught his attention. He found me intriguing, and sexy(yes, I said it sexy) and was impressed by me. It was thrilling and full of anticipation and excitement. We had so much sexual tension(eeee! i know but its true).

Yes Edward, find "ME" hard to get, find "ME" irresistible, find "ME" darling. Find that I have so much to offer. It was so fulfilling. I don't know how else to describe it. For as short as I have been having these dreams it is as though its been so long that I've felt incapable and un-wanted. And I yearned to be wanted and to be capable of earning his love. This last dream became a dream-within-a-dream come true. Its so odd.

Its time like these I wish I was some brilliant blond fetcher. Always investigating more and achieving higher and new levels of "education" of "knowledge". Not sure how else to put it. But imagine being an inventor and slowly you became a step further and a step further and succeeded everytime. I guess what I am trying to get at is: I wish I could invent a device that could record your dreams, analyze them, describe in common terms (interpret) what it means, and tell me how to go about to fix the deeper issue here. Like my dreams are caused by some emotional, physical, or mental disfunction and then proceed to tell me how to fix it.

Now wouldn't that be amazing?!?!?! Uh, chaw!

Well I guess Im done ranting. I just had to note that for once I had a fulfilling dream and I've been in a pleasing mood all day. Ya know, sometimes I am thankful for dreams. Silly dreams, silly crushes.

Its funny having dreams like these...Sean and I find it so interesting to talk about. Well, at least my hubby doesn't find me a freak. Ppl don't love you and care about you the way husbands do. Gotta love him!