No words can express:o(

sometimes my  brain cannot conjure up the right words to express...but at best all i can say is I am grateful to God.

  Today my innocent 4 yr old  took the initiative to have fun with her sister, carried her outside(which i have told her over and over never to pick up sister), then somehow managed to log her onto the trampoline.  Your 2nd worst fear just flashed into your mind and it happened...evalyn fell off the trampoline and landed on her head.

Im getting dressed in my master bath when I hear a high pitched cry....no more then a few minutes i walked out of the family room where they were playing that this happened.  I couldn't determine where the cry came from...it sounded like it echoed from the baby's monitor....so i walked across the house to the babys room.  Theres no crying(thats bad.) I jumped at the thought they were in the garage, i ran fast to open the laundry door that leads into the garage, flung open the door, no cries,...no children. 


 ....."Where ARE THEY?!" ....
 I sped across the house again when the backyard window caught my eye and i see M....just standing there next to the trampoline, starring at the ground, not moving.
 "Wheres Evy?!?!" thats when i heard some whimpers.  I opened the glass door and at this point i caught eye of evalyn, lying in the dirt, trying to sit up.  At this instant i knew what had happened.  I ran to her while trying to hold back tears and anger.

 Evalyn just looked terrible and looked like she got hit by a bus, she was dazed.  My 10 month old baby! Dazed & whimpering! Heart wrenching!!! 

 I ran to her as she caught sight of me she just started to cry with this look in her eye..."mommy, hold me." I can't describe it...shes only 10 months but i could just see what she was feeling. 

 I think back at it now and know why i heard 1 high-pitched cry and silence after that...it was probably because she got the wind knocked out of her.  That just breaks my heart. 
I just held her and let her cry, looked in her eyes to see any signs of neurological problems....and waited for her to vomit or get sleepy...but she didn't. THANK HEAVENS!  I knew she was spared and that she was meant to live another day...an angel was watching over her.  I asked M as i grabbed evy what had happened and she confirmed my fear.  I tried so hard to hold back my natural reaction and barely handled a firm reiteration to "NEVER pick up sister." 

Im so so SO grateful to heavenly father and thanked him over again.  I love my kids more than life and would just die if i ever had one taken from me.  I don't ever want to know the feeling.
 

 Tonight after i got back from a my sisters dinner out, I crept in and checked on her.  She is such an angel, especially when she sleeps.  checked to feel her chest rise and fall. Relief is up there with one of the BEST emotions a human can feel and Gratitude IS the Best.

-aezra